In Memory of Robert Dunn by Thomas Jones

(Pen Master in Charge)

He was the king of the pun,
He held your head to the gun,
Everything he wrote he wrote for fun.
His name was Robert Dunn.

Never mind his name is common,
That “imposters” took his name for theirs.
This is not about splitting hairs!
It’s about poetry as come-on.

Never mind Zen Yentas in Bondage,
Or Vanished into the Slammer,
Those medicinal porpoises, boy,
They can’t live beyond the clamor

Of a cartoon character on the cover
Of Baffled in Baloneyville
Or hoot and holler at the thrill!
The sky’s the limit when you have a minute

To spread your word and make a spat
Of poetry in simplest punning form, Donning
Oops I mean Dunning, a large brimmed hat
While peddling stand-up comedic versions
Of Ogden Nash reduced to a minor brat

In comparison to His great pen and pun
Now at once and, shall we say, forever,
UnDunn?

(His sightings will occur to loyal fans
For many years to come,
Or will they?)

Low Jacked Elections By DubbleX

Votes die
This election
This unnatural selection
Rejection of the truth
What really went down in the election booth?
Did they count the vote note you wrote?
Or did they delete it remote
Modems get hijacked
No paper facts on a die bolt touch screen
Smoke screen
I want to scream
As GW Bush once again has been deemed supreme
By the Right Wing Neo-Conservative Regime
As Native American
Latinos
And Africans
Stand in long Soviet lines
Are harassed and attacked
How could it be that exit polls are wrong?
59 million strong chanting mass hysteria song
They live in a delusion of spin
That is spun
Unable to understand
That Gore and Kerry really won
CNN, Fox and many daily’s
Provide the fodder that the public chews
Swallowed digested and regurgitated on the nightly news
But still next time
Let’s not rock the vote
Or vote or die
But lets make sure over votes don’t die

15-MINUTES OF FAME

A moment opens to eternity
Fastidious, attached to passing moments
I live in Warhol days
An open heart mends wounds
Are you for or against them?
What’s your political game?
Everyone's got his15-minutes of fame
Are you on their side or mine?
Is it them or is it us
Is there an us anymore
Who is us anymore anyway
Anywhere I’m supposed to know?
Did you know …
My headache keeps me awake to cover the worldwide news
An open wound
Nightly sound of the evening news
A bleeding ulcer seeking to be healed
Closer to home news too,
All news is bad news
Except the rescued puppy thrown in to control you
A news-forecast makes everything worse –
Ignore the news a week or two
Say your regards to Pluto
Ignore my bleak forecast of doom
All of us are doomed
As we all are doomed anyway
The more you do - the more gets done
When you stop doing there’s no more to get done
Another open wound
Always the dream remains of
Another go-round
Take care
Hope …
To see you there
If & when there is another go-round

The Cat in the Liberals' Porch

Somebody actually read Michael Moore's election guide? Wow, I bet that's a pretty trustworthy document. May as well buy his weight loss book while you're at it. Jelly donuts aren't fattening. It's just a big conspiracy by Big Veggie!

Democrats are professional losers not because of some obscure conspiracy of Freemasons that began over 200 years ago--what the hell is the point of a conspiracy that takes over 200 years to complete, anyway? That's ridiculous. Democrats are professional losers because the secular socialism they embrace is an alien belief system to the majority of Americans. Sure, like a drunk guy at 2 AM, Americans sometimes go home with one out of desperation now and then, but they wake up in the morning and realize their error, take a really hot shower, and go down to the clinic and get tested.

Bill Clinton lasted 8 years because Americans had two years of a Democratic executive and legislative branch, nearly got Hillarycare, and then promptly cleaned a lot of Democrats out of the House. Clinton is a smart politician and he got the message. Republicans got welfare reform, tax cuts, and other things while they let Bill take the credit for a growing economy. Win, win.

The Clintons are the most skilled politicians the Democrats have had in 50 years, but they were outmatched by the raw emotion surrounding Obama. It was just "wrong place, wrong time" for Hillary. Against anyone else, she would have rolled through the primaries and "Who was Hillary Clinton's Republican opponent in 2008?" would be a Trivial Pursuit question. Unfortunately for liberals, they may fall victim to one of their character flaws--inordinate reliance on emotions over reason. The "Obama-non" was just too enthralling and now Democrats are left with the substantially inferior candidate. Sure, he's a great speaker (when the teleprompter is working), he's young, dynamic, and black, to boot, but what has he really done?

In an ironic twist, McCain was the least loved by the Republican base, but he turned out to be the best possible candidate available to run against Obama. Had it been Clinton, he would be experiencing the familiar sensation of an airplane being shot out from under him, but as luck would have it, he's running close with Obama in an environment uniquely hostile to Republicans. Then he picks Sarah Palin and totally changes the game. With one stroke, he made the media look foolish as they flailed about trying to take her down, he made liberal feminists look like hypocrites as they suddenly questioned her ability to raise children and be a VP and wondered aghast how she could decide not to flush a Down's baby like any other "reasonable" woman would, and he totally threw off Obama's game. Not to mention the contrast with Obama's running mate...Joe...who?

When I was a kid, there was this mean cat down the street that finally earned a one-way trip to Animal Control. Somehow that cat was lured into our screened porch and the guy went in to trap it. That thing defied gravity as it ran on the walls like a 10-pound tornado, making a total mess of things. Palin is the cat in the Democrats' porch and they don't know whether to shit or wind their watches. The idea that the first female VP (and possibly P down the road) would be a conservative who is pro-life, has five kids, hunts, and believes in Jesus is just not at all what Gloria Steinem fought for! The ultimate indignity for them would be if she chooses a black running mate should she find herself running for president in four or eight years. I'd be careful walking under any open windows in Manhattan's Upper West Side when that happens, lest I be a victim of an effete liberal's suicide. I think she's a hell of a choice because it's just so damn funny watching the circus. She's definitely a strange duck, but anyone who lives in Alaska has to be a bit eccentric.